tube tops lost

Bigger is better. But, so is smaller. We don't know what to think anymore. The one true uniquely American passion, television, has been blown up and miniaturized simultaneously by the same technology. The TV has given up it's tube to make way for a more exciting and scalable technology.

LCD technology, or liquid crystal display, in association with the initials, DLP, HDTV, MPEG, PVR, DVR, 3G and WTF, has brought us bigger and brighter and smaller and lighter pictures than we ever imagined we would have in our homes or pockets. 72" rear projection televisions are bringing the theater experience home, while the zooplankton versions dazzle us with video clips on our cell phones. Or, the new video capable iPods.

Speaking of video iPods, the networks seem to be waxing over all panicky-like due to the possibility that someone might actually download a show to their iPod at $1.99 a shot instead of watching it for free in the living room. Or bedroom. Or kitchen. Or in any room of the 87% of American households that have access to cable television. Face it. Would you rather watch a bunch of moody plane crash survivors (and a hobbit?) kibitzing around an island on a tv the size of a matchbook or something a bit closer to a cafeteria tray?

Now for the math. Regular tv is presented in the 4:3 aspect ratio (the proportion of the width of the picture to the height). Your father's tube tv is 4:3. As is your video iPod but at a fraction of the size. Oddly enough, 4:3 is also the proportion of programming to advertising on commercial television.

I watched Lost recently-- which basically sums up my reaction but that's neither here nor there. Out of curiosity, I timed the bits of show that were broadcast as well as the bits of commercials that were aired. Including the recaps from the previous episodes of the season (which at the time totalled to 1), nearly 1/2 of the hour was spent with ads for tampons and breakfast cereal being fired directly at my face. No wonder it's called Lost-- the "precious" viewer loses 1/2 their time watching commercials! And no wonder I stopped eating breakfast cereal!

This lost time is precious time that consumers can spend watching last week's Desperate Housewives on their iPods. Or programming their PVR's, or, heaven help you, VCR's, to record the series. That was a lot of commas.

Best of all, thanks to iTunes, we can now bypass the entire process of recording the programs ourselves all for a nominal fee so we can watch it over and over on the matchbook screen. Ok, then what's with all the mooning, posturing and general stroppiness? You know the network executives can watch anything they want without having to sit through the commercials. Is that the problem? We don't pay enough for the commercials on cable tv? $1.99 is too little to pay to skip a few ads on an iPod?