Ghosts from the Pasta

Some countries have skeletons in their closets. China has skeletons in it's walls. And 4000 year old noodles at the bottom of its rivers. Yes, the Sleeping Giant can now claim once and for all to have the archaeological evidence to back its claims that pasta was indeed born in China.

The Italians were unavailable for comment. However, China's Institute of Geology and Physics had this to say: "These are undoubtedly the oldest noodles ever found." (click the quote for more)

Anyone who has ever witnessed a performance by Chinese acrobats will readily accept the notion that noodles are from China. Like Chinese acrobats, noodles have no bones and can be found in Walmart. At least this is what the announcer in Epcot claimed prior to a display of boneless children doing what boneless children do. Bend.

What's really amazing however is the possibility that river silt can now compete with modern food preservation technology. If it can preserve noodles for 4000 years, what do you think it can do for your complexion? If China were clever they'd be peddling their Yellow River silt as the first scientifically proven anti-aging formula. Archeaology is science after all. Look out pearl cream!

The discovery of such a revolutionary preservative has the power to transform the economy of this gianormous nation. Soon, they won't have to send their boneless, huddled masses to America to experience the wonders of Walmart. They will have their very own Great Walmart of China!